Conflicting Directions

I got lost.

I’ll be the first one to admit it. Over the last few months (well since November) I haven’t dropped a single pound. I gave in to temptation that counter-acted my training for this half marathon coming up in May. I have been “sorta” following my running plan (getting the long runs in, but not doing so great getting the short ones in) which only means that I am “sorta” on track. That’s not good enough.

It’s almost as if I’m on a journey, and decided I knew where I was going, and a year into it, I threw out my map.

Then, I met a boy. Scratch that, I met a man. I’m in love. This is real.

Unfortunately, it’s a well timed wake up call- he has his own map he’s been following.

If I so quickly lost myself the day I met him- what does that say about the future?

It says that I need to always remember to focus, and with him in my life, I know now that I need to focus even harder. The awesome blessing is that God gifted him with the same desires and wants towards getting healthy, running, and eating right, but it also means that God has given him a plan to get there, one that may not be the same as my own.

As with many new relationships, our desire to be around one another trumped our need for focused, independent fitness. We tried going to my gym together; Robin hates the dreadmill. We tried hitting the trails together, BF runs too fast, and can only do short miles (per his PT). It has become very clear to me that we can’t do this working out business together. (That’s not to say we can’t walk the dogs together, but the hard core focused training, not so much.) Also, my long walks and runs when I was single were my peaceful, mind clearing time with God. I used it to decompress, to get outside myself, and relax. It’s really hard to do that with someone conversing with you…

So where have I landed?
I think right where I need to be.

Our blessing in disguise is that we are both really good communicators, and after sitting down and talking we both agreed that we have to be ok with each other doing their own thing; that only that would yield the best, happiest, and healthiest results for both of us. I told him that part of why I did so well in the first year of my SP journey was because it was all on me, good or bad, *I* was solely responsible. That made it easy to say no when I needed to and yes when I could.

I fully acknowledge that being involved with someone means working stuff like this out, and I’m so thankful that we got it out in the open now, and not 5 years from now. And he is thankful that I brought it up, too.

I’m going to marry this man.


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