Motivation Needed

Can you please tell it I’m over here and I miss it?

I don’t feel like myself. I feel like my life is becoming an out of body experience where I’m out of control.

I can’t finish any books, I haven’t been working out as much as I want, I need to run and I don’t, my poor dog would like to walk instead of playing fetch in the lobby (in all fairness though, it’s a big lobby and I have a strong arm). Also, I don’t need people to offer their help and that sounds selfish, but I need ME to want to help ME and I don’t right now. I have to move twice in August, I hate packing and disrupting life. Work is busy and daunting, and the summer, our slow time, was busy and I’m scared for the busy time.

I need my consistency back. This happens every time, EVERY TIME, I hit under 200. I see that number and its like a memory wipe, and suddenly I stop everything good that I’m doing.

I’m waking up in the middle of the night. I have an upset stomach every morning. The nightmares are getting ridiculous (really, Robin? Falling out of a hot air balloon?)

It just needs to stop. And I need me to come back.

Prayers are always appreciated, but for lack of sounding like a rude ignorant jerk, no “you should’s” please.

Me too’s are always welcome.


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