Not many people cry when they leave the gym after accomplishing 2 hours and 45 minutes of working out.
But I’m not like most people.
I knew that this week with my marathon training, something was going to hit the fan. I don’t know if it’s because 18 miles is just SCREAMING to be a mental road block, or if I am uniquely disadvantaged in the motivation department. Either way, this was going to suck.
I knew from the get-go that this 18 would be a challenge for me. All week long I planned, mapped, and prepared to run this thing, all the while in the back of my head a little voice kept saying “no.” Damn defeatist.
Friday morning I woke up early, so that I could do the run with plenty of time to relax and refocus before work.
But something got in the way- well, someone. Me.
Nothing I did would get me out the door. So I did what any self respecting runner in training did- I lied to myself.
I told myself that it was ok to not do it today and that there was always time this weekend. Snow storm Saturday? Who cares? Plans on Sunday? I’m sure you can squeeze this in.
Word to the wise- do not attempt to “squeeze in” an 18 mile training run.
So fast forward to Sunday evening. It is now too dark out to run safely for that distance, and besides, the trail I was going to run is covered with snow… So I make my way to the gym thinking “I’ll just do 3 sets of 6 miles on the treadmill. Piece of cake.”
I’d rather have the cake.
Nothing in me would stay focused on the run. It was too hot. I’m dripping with sweat **new machine**. This one is too breezy. I can’t stay in the middle **new machine**. OH elliptical! This elliptical squeaks… you get the point. Throughout the course of the 18 mixed miles and 2hr 47 min extravaganza, I was on/used 6 machines.
Some day I’ll learn.
Hence the crying as I left the gym. I felt like I owed it to myself to have gotten those miles in out on the path or road. I felt like I cheated myself out of success. I was overwhelmed with guilt over not having done it “right.” Most of all, I was disappointed.
Moral of the story? If you have a huge task to accomplish, just do it. Right when you plan to. Don’t put it off for whenever. Whenever could leave you in a fight with yourself. And you just may lose that fight.