I caught myself getting stuck in one of my neurotic cycles last night. One of my goals (the walking one) is built around a streak of at least 10,000 steps a day. Unfortunately as I was getting ready for bed, dead tired from a long day, I realized that I still had about 3,000 steps to go. The neurotic part of my brain started to kick in and tell me to get on the treadmill and walk until I made my goal, but I realized that the unhealthy mindset that was telling me to do that, was the same voice that keeps me sick. The whole long term reward related streak idea feeds into my neurosis that I can’t miss a single day and that I am never good enough– it leaves no leeway for life and listening to my body. It’s a rule rather than a chance to make a healthy choice.
I have amended this goal to now read: “4 weeks of 10,000 steps a day= walking shoes *If a day is missed, as long as it is not two in a row, it can be added to the end. ie 28 days can become 29 if one day is missed or 32 if on 4 different weeks a day is missed, not consecutive to another.”
I am in this to make life long habits, not to just kill myself over a day when my body won’t comply. I never used to listen to my body before, when she was screaming and crying out for help.
Today is a new day to do just that.