Failing, Falling, and Hanging off the Edge

I’m not trying to be dramatic. I swear.

If you asked me¬†yesterday¬†how I was doing, and if I were to answer you honestly I would tell you this “I feel like I’m falling off a cliff and I have my little pinky finger hanging on to the edge.” Seriously, I was one step away from a nervous break down.


Lack of sleep will do this to you.


I’m trying to sleep at night but my mind races 100 miles per hour. I think that if I could harness the speed with which my brain travels when all I want is to sleep, I could power a super computer. The notepad next to my bed is full of thoughts, musings, to-do lists, things to remember etc. I have dumped the truck of all the stray thoughts, yet still sleep evades me.

I need to go for a run. I think that’s what’s wrong. I haven’t run since Saturday and it’s messing with my sleep pattern. Yeah. Let’s blame it on that.

Oh, and I’m getting married this Sunday. That’s messing with my brain too, I suppose…


Last night I finally got some good sleep; the unfortunate outcome being that I have regained my clarity and my critical eye…

I had laid out 4 goals for myself on January 7th… all of which I am failing at right now. And I can see that plain as day. Thank you, sleep.

For reference the goals I set are:

1. 3 runs per week- follow training calendar

2. Whole 30 upon return from honeymoon (Jan 21st-Feb 18th)

3. Try one new class or exercise per week (or one that I haven’t done in a long time)

4. Scrapbook race bibs 3 per week to stay motivated for my full marathon.


These are short, 6 week goals, so I’m not overly concerned with the fact that they aren’t going as well as I had hoped. What I am concerned about is that a major life event has derailed me so easily. Granted, I’m still eating mostly clean, but besides that I am hanging on by a thread.

Is it too harsh to say that I am failing?

Maybe the hanging on is what builds strength?

I could use some of that right about now.